Nightmare
by Little Patch of Heaven
Summary: It's a nightmare, because everything is wrong - so very, very wrong. And soon, very soon, they will all wake and there will be laughs and jokes because this is just a nightmare. -spoilers for book 15 and up- .02 - Fai .04 - Subaru .07 - Kazuki
1. Nightmare

_I just watched the Tsubasa Tokyo Revelations OVAs and I was in an angsty mood....and this is about as well as I can write angst. I might continue this and have each chapter be a different oneshot that relates to this whole angsty and creepy part of Tsubasa._

_

* * *

_

**-N-I-G-H-T-M-A-R-E-**

**-S.A.K.U.R.A.-**

This is a nightmare, she decides.

Because there is no possible way that this is reality and she is really watching this horrible scene unfold before her. Because there is too much blood and too much screaming and too much pain for this to be real.

The prince - **her** prince - is the villain and the magician is covered in blood and the warrior is fighting the hero and the princess is left to wonder why she is having this nightmare.

Because it's horrible, so horrible, and sick and wrong. It's the kind of nightmare she would never wish upon her worst enemies because it's _horriblehorriblehorrible_ and _wrongwrongwrong_. And she's cursing any gods out there because this is a sight she never wants to see.

It's a nightmare, she decides.

Because she sees Syaoran, but it can't really be Syaoran because he's kind and wonderful and perfect and he's not covered in blood and killing and so cold and emotionless. There's not even hate, despite all the horrible things, and that just **isn't** her Syaoran.

She sees him, but she can't see him. Because that can't be him and the only other one she can see isn't him either and her Syaoran isn't there even though she can see him because he right in front of her. And that's him, but it's _notnotnotnotnotnot_ him.

It's a nightmare, she decides.

Because she can't scream or cry, and normally if she saw the magician so limp and bloody and the warrior so devastated and the hero so cold and emotionless she would be yelling and screaming until she lost her voice and then she would cry and cry and cry until there were no tears left for her to cry.

But she can't, because not even the smallest of sounds will come from her throat, and no tears will fall as she stares at the scene and wonders when she will finally awake.

It is definitely a nightmare, she decides.

Because she is dying, painfully and slowly and she knows nothing has been done to her that would cause her pain and she knows she is not sick and people don't just die for no reason. Because she's perfectly healthy, and will be so when she finally wakes up, and this nightmare is horrible and wrong, and so why shouldn't she die in it as well?

It **has** to be a nightmare, she decides.

Because the world has flipped and twisted and it's inverted and scrambled. She can't even say it's been turned upside down, because that can be described and what has happened now can't be put into words or explained. It's so unexpected and strange and different and wrong, and it's something that she doesn't understand.

She prays it's a nightmare.

Because things are all so very, very wrong. And the story book ending has been scrapped and the fairy tale has become a horror story worse than any story any author could ever come up with. It's so wrong, and she knows it can't be real because when she does finally awake the people she cares about will all be there, perfectly fine and ready to comfort her about this horrible, horrible dream.

She remembers going to sleep, and she knows this just has to be a nightmare, because the one she loves is scaring her, and she frightened and terrified of the people she cares about.

It can't be real, because the boy she sees is not the boy she knows, and he is most certainly not the boy she loves because he is fighting and killing and there is death - so much death. It is everywhere, as is the blood and the screams that she can't quite tell if they are coming from someone else or herself.

There is pain and there is agony and this is horrible and she has to wake up.

Because this is all just a nightmare, and she is going to wake soon.

It has to be a nightmare, she tells herself.

Oh god, she hopes this is just a nightmare.


	2. Time

**-T-I-M-E-**

**-F.A.I.-**

He can hear the screaming, and the talking and the clang of sword against sword. He can hear people crying, and he can feel the blood soaking into his clothes, spilling from the cold, empty hole where his eye should be. He can feel the empty feeling that shouldn't be in his heart, but it is and it's been there for some time but now it's worse. Because the emptiness had only just recently been filled and now he's empty again.

He can hear and he can feel, even though he should be dead and if not dead he wishes he could at least be unconscious, because this is horrible and he doesn't want to be awake during this.

Fai wants to sleep; he just wants to fall into a deep, dark place where he doesn't hear the screams and he doesn't hear the battle. Somewhere where he can forget the pain and the emptiness and the sore feeling in his chest that feels like his heart was ripped out instead of his eye.

He wishes he could control time, so he could just fast forward to a time when this is all over and everything is right again. When the princess is smiling and Kurogane is yelling at him and Mokona is joking and Syaoran…..Syaoran - their Syaoran, not the one who has left him to die like this - was laughing and giving him the happiness that he never thought he would have.

To just speed up time, so that everyone - the people he cares about, no matter how much he tried to keep them out of his heart and his thoughts and his worries - could just bypass this horrible, sick joke. He just wants everyone to forget this.

But he won't forget this, he never will forget the pain in his empty eye socket or the pain in his limps or the pain in his chest that he tells himself is not his heart. And he won't forget the cold, emotionless and expressionless eyes that stared straight through him with no recognition.

And the princess will never forget the pain of losing the one she loves, of seeing the one she cares so much about hurting the others she has befriended and relied on.

And the warrior will never forget the feeling of becoming the mentor and the 'father'. He will never forget that his scary and frightening façade had not worked this time, and the one who had been able to break through and become someone the warrior felt the need to protect was the one currently fighting him.

No, they will never forget, and so Fai doesn't want to fast forward through time. He wants to rewind. _Backbackbacksofar_, so far back in time that this is just a horrible nightmare that could never come true.

Back to the laughs and the jokes and the nicknames and the joy that is no longer found in that small and broken family. Back to when Syaoran was their Syaoran and there was no blood and no pain and no screams and no tears and no _emptiness._

He doesn't even care that he has let people in, because it was worth it just to feel the emptiness inside him fill up slowly - slowly but surely - until he felt he belonged and he didn't want to run anymore. He doesn't care, because he knows how good and how wanted that feeling is, and he doesn't want it to leave.

He wants it to go _onandonandon_ and he just wants to have that fullness that Syaoran - his Syaoran, their Syaoran - has given him. Given to a coward like him, who didn't deserve it but has received it anyway. He knows that he shouldn't ever feel the happiness the boy has given him, but he wants it. He just _wantsitsobadithurts_ and he wants to go back, back to the laughs.

Away from the blood, because it's killing him, and it's killing them, and they're dying.

And he wishes _sobadsobadohgodsobad...._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._that he could control time.


	3. Failure

**-F-A-I-L-U-R-E-**

**-K.U.R.O.G.A.N.E-**

He has failed.

He could put on a brave face and act like nothing had happened….but he couldn't, because things had changed and things had happened and he had _failedfailedfailed_ so, so, horribly.

He hadn't been strong enough. His strength, his pride, hadn't been enough, because the kid was gone and the princess was empty and the mage was broken. And for once the white thing had shut up because it too was hurting.

Because he hadn't been strong enough. Too weak….he had been weak and he had failed. Their world had come to a crashing halt and things had happened that couldn't ever unhappen and it was scary and it was frightening and it was painful.

They had died.

_All _of them were _**dead**_.

The princess - no, not the princess, because Sakura smiled and laughed and sparkled and made everything right again - no longer smiled, and the sun seemed to have set and never risen again because her sparkling radiance and happiness had been hidden by a cloud that would never go away because she had _died_.

The mage - no, not the mage, because Fai called him those annoying nicknames and laughed and cheered them up when they were down and was slowly, slowly coming out of his shell - smiled, but his mask had cracked and his happy-go-lucky façade was no longer so convincing; the jokes and the happiness and the nicknames stopped because he had _died_.

The kid - but no, not the kid, because their Syaoran wasn't this Syaoran because Syaoran was kind and caring and helped them and changed them - blamed himself. He hated himself for arriving and he hated himself for being late and he hated himself simply because he _was_ and he _existed_. And if this was all he did for others, if he only killed them and hurt them then maybe he shouldn't exist at all. He hated himself with more hate than one person should have and because of it he had _died_.

And he himself - but he wasn't himself, because Kurogane wouldn't care so much about a stupid kid that had changed into something he never wanted to see in his worst nightmares and he was strong and uncaring and he _always_ was victorious - had _failedsososohorribly_ and he hadn't changed anything. He was left with guilt and failure and he too had _died_.

And the happiness had vanished and there was only darkness and pain and guilt and remorse and self loathing because he had failed and she had been hurt and he had been unmasked and he had arrived too late and the kid….not the one who had fought them and hurt them and looked at them with those cold, dark, emotionless eyes because that wasn't Syaoran, and their Syaoran had been lost.

And the one that failed, the one that hadn't been strong enough, saw the pain and the heartbreak. He saw that she was fading and he was dying and the other was gone and when he was alone and the others were each alone some place dying……his cold, indifferent façade crashed and he hated himself because he wasn't strong enough and he had _**failed.**_


	4. Hunt

**-H-U-N-T-**

**-S.U.B.A.R.U.-**

The young girl is scared. So, so, so deathly terrified and scared, and her fear is killing her.

And the hunter can feel that fear, so much fear that it is tangible, and he just wants to comfort the girl. He is suffering because the girl is suffering, which is strange and different and weird.

But he can't help it, because even though the girl is prey and he is the hunter, they shared the same fate. They were both trapped in the eternal sleep that has only just now become a nightmare. They were together even though they weren't the same, and they both feel the young girl's fear as they watch the battle taking place right before them.

And the hunter feels for the people, even though he doesn't know them and they don't know him because he too is scared of the _thing_ fighting his brother and fighting the girl's friends. And he knows it's not human and it is not what he and his brother are and he is scared and the others are scared and there is so much fear and pain and blood.

And the hunter wants to comfort the prey, because he is no longer the hunter and the prey is no longer _his_ prey. They have all become the victims, and that _thing - _thing, because he doesn't know what it is, he just knows it's not human - that humanlike thing that has no emotion and a gaze that pierces your soul…

..

..

..

..

..

_….is hunting them all._


	5. Limits

**-L-I-M-I-T-S-**

**-Y.U.U.K.O.-**

Even a witch has limitations – boundaries to be way of, lines she is unable to cross. She has used every loophole – and will continue to do so – but the fact remains that she is bound.

_...she wishes and wishes..._

Every person has a wish of some kind, and she would be lying if she claimed otherwise. Oh yes, she has a wish, but she can not grant it. No matter the price she is willing to pay, there are wishes she can not grant and lines she can not pass, and her wish lies on the other side of her boundaries.

..._she wishes and wishes..._

Truly, she wants to help those travelers, but they have passed to a realm outside her limits – she can only go so far, and she had reached the edge.

So she_ wishes_ and_ wishes_, because she can no longer interfere and fate must run its course.

Hitsuzen is all, and she can not meddle with destiny.

And so…

….she _**prays**_…

Because wishing never got anyone anywhere.


	6. Mirror

**-M-I-R-R-O-R-**

**-S.Y.A.O.R.A.N.-**

There is a mirror hanging on the wall in the room he is staying in. Every time that mirror crosses his line of vision, a chill goes down his spine and he breaks into a cold sweat as his breath quickens.

What scares him is not the mirror, but the reflection he sees in it. When he looks in the mirror, he imagines cold, expressionless eyes staring back at him – one brown and one bright blue – and he sees blood and it's everywhere, but when he goes to wipe it off his face he finds it's not there.

Looking in the glass he sees broken bodies, broken lives, broken families, broken relationships and broken promises.

Broken, everything is so very, very broken and he knows he can't do anything to fix them. His hand clenches into a tight fist – tight enough that his own nails are cutting his skin, but the pain it should have caused is ignored – as he is filled with sudden anger and hate and now…

....the mirror is broken too.

There's blood on his hand for real now from the sharp edges of the broken glass, but it doesn't make a difference, because it feels like there has always been blood on them – visible or not.

And now, he can't see his reflection anymore – can't see the cold eyes or the blood or all the brokenness – but he wishes he could, because as he stares at the wall where the mirror once hung, he's filled with more dread and more fear than before.

Because now, he can't see his reflection anywhere, can't see what he is doing. He has no way to monitor his reflection's actions, and he can't tell if he is still covered in blood and surrounded by brokenness – but the uneasy feeling in his gut tells him he probably is.

The reflection – his bloody, emotionless reflection – is out of his reach, in a place where he can't see him, can't stop him. He can't wash away the blood, and he can't heal the brokenness.

He's scared, terrified, because not being able to see his reflection is worse – much, much worse – than when he could see it.

And now…he wishes he had never broken the mirror.


	7. Family

_Please, please review! I won't know how I did or what I have to improve if you don't tell me!_

* * *

**-F-A-M-I-L-Y-**

**-K.A.Z.U.K.I.-**

He remembers being told that about four years after the acid rain began to fall in his world, his parents had been killed. But he had been too young, and so he didn't remember them.

That didn't matter though, because he had his family.

He had Kamui and Kusanagi and Satsuki and Yuto and Kakyo and Nataku.

Yes, Kazuki had his family, and he cared about them all very much. And now, the people – the travelers, as they had said – had appeared. He had once said that Kamui looked like a lost child, and somehow these travelers had looked that way too.

So he decided that they needed a family, and though he knew he wasn't much, he accepted them into his.

He liked the strong man who could fight Kamui. He liked the blonde man who smiled all the time. He liked the strange but adorable creature called Mokona, and he liked the cool boy who could kick away arrows in the air. And though he didn't know the girl because she was always asleep, he figured he would like her as well.

But now members of his family were down in that water, and they weren't coming up. He was scared, and he could tell that there was something happening down there that he and the others couldn't see. And now there was blood, dying the water red, and the creature on his head was shouting, and the smiling man was diving into the water without a second thought.

His family was in the water, in the water with the blood, and he was scared. He watched with wide eyes as the water began to spin, and then it was stopping, and his other new family member was here, and he now wished it hadn't stopped.

Because he could see blood, and he could see pain, and his family was suffering. It was scaring him, and he could feel tears running down his cheeks. Arms encircled him, and he heard Nataku whisper words of reassurance in his ear.

He didn't want to look, but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the horrible sight, and as more seconds – but they had to be hours, right? – passed, more and more tears slipped from his wide eyes.

He didn't know them well, he hadn't spent much time with them…

...but…

...they were his family.


End file.
